wtf: ‘Hunchback of Notre Dame’ done up funny

Just when you think the shamelessness and the senselessness of Hollywood can’t possibly get any shamelesser or senselesser, Variety is there to correct this misapprehension:

Paramount has snagged an untitled action/comedy pitch from the scripting team of Will Block and Jake Emanuel for Lorenzo Di Bonaventura to produce.

Story is based on the framework from Victor Hugo’s original “The Hunchback of Notre Dame.” Hugo’s novel, published in 1831, is set in the 15th century and centers on the tragic romance between Quasimodo, the deformed bell-ringer of the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, and the gypsy woman Esmeralda.

Surely this will pave the way for all the other long-awaited action-comedy adaptations from literature, including The Count of Monte Cristo starring Will Farrell and Adam Sandler, Medea starring Tina Fey, The Confessions of Saint Augustine starring Steve Carell, Hamlet starring Russell Brand (with Bruce Willis as Claudius), The Great Gatsby starring Ashton Kutcher and Mark Wahlberg, and Michael Bay’s hil-air explosion-packed adaptation of Camus’s The Stranger.

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