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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

trailer break: ‘Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer…


Lovely: end on a joke about the accidental and inappropriate touching of penis. That’s some class, right there.

Oh, and the Scrat has been male all along, has it? Of course it has. All animals are by default and assumption male. We all know that the only way to identify female animals are by their long eyelashes, which they are constitutionally unable to refrain from batting at males, and their sexy fingers. Sexy fingers? *sigh*

At least it looks like there’s some sort of explanation, however fantastical, for how dinosaurs could be coexisting with ice-age megafauna… of course, these animals are in fact separated by tens of millions of years. I can buy a “lost world” scenario, within the confines of fantasy fiction, as long as little kids don’t come away from this flick thinking that woolly mammoths and sabretooth tigers were living alongside T. rexes. That would really, really make me mad.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs opens in the U.S. and the U.K. on July 1.



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