I so needed a laugh today. And then I came across a USA Today article from a couple days back called “Next ‘Transformers’ is due for a switch,” which had me snorting with derision all the way through. You can almost hear writer Anthony Breznican snickering in places. Listen:
With shooting underway on a third movie and plans to debut next summer, Michael Bay and Co. acknowledge missteps with the last one and aim to upgrade the shape-shifting robot franchise with a more coherent story, less goofball humor and a pledge that characters who die will stay dead.
Oh, that’s beautiful: the transforming-giant-robots-from-space threequel will be, grading on the Michael Bay curve, a veritable masterpiece, like something Shakespeare might have written. It’s gonna be coherent!
And then, following immediately on in the same paragraph — and this is where I hear a snicker — is this:
It will also be in 3-D.
Comedy gold.
Also, it stars an underwear model.
But Bay is contrite, chastened even, in the face of the criticisms lobbed at Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen:
“I’ll take some of the criticism,” says Bay, standing at a set built to resemble a dilapidated nuclear reactor. “It was very hard to put (the sequel) together that quickly after the writers’ strike (of 2007-08).”
He’s noble, but he’s not that noble: it was mostly the writers’ fault.
The new film features Sam Witwicky (LaBeouf) taking his first tenuous steps into adulthood while remaining a reluctant human ally of Optimus Prime. “Shia has this great line: ‘You know, I’ve saved the world twice, but I can’t get a job,’ ” di Bonaventura says.
See? I told you it was like Shakespeare had written it.
About the reason for the underwear model:
“I love Megan and I miss the girl,” LaBeouf says, flecked with fake blood and dirt during a break between shooting. “But Sam and Mikaela became one character, and here … you have discovery again from a new perspective.”
Sam and Mikaela — *sniff* — they were like one person. It was like frakkin’ Romeo and Juliet, even. Hey, Shakespeare again!
I hope the Academy is paying attention, because it looks like one of those slots for Best Picture nominee for 2011 is already filled.
Not just an underwear model. An underwear model with zilcho acting experience (not that Megan Fox was any great thespian)
I would believe this if he hadn’t announced a while back that the racist twin robots would return for the sequel.
A “more coherent story”? WTF?
I didn’t think it was humanly possible to find a worse actress than Megan Fox, but again I have been proven wrong.
Universe, you win.
Transformers – the franchise about drama between warring robot factions that feature no drama between robots.
That is unless you counted Megan Fox’s acting as robotic.