The Lifeguard review

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The Lifeguard red light Kristen Bell David Lambert

Apparently it’s hard to be a grownup in today’s crazy world without committing consequence-free statutory rape. Ugh.
I’m “biast” (pro): nothing

I’m “biast” (con): nothing

(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)

Oh, no no no. I was fooled by the promise of a tale that starts out, refreshingly, all female third-life crisis, as Kristen Bell’s journalist is driven to escape her work and New York City and go home to suburban Connecticut. (She brings the cat with her — it’s that serious.) On the verge of 30, she “need[s] some time out of [her] life,” and finds it by taking up her high-school summer job as a lifeguard in an apartment complex pool and engaging in lots of nice refreshing distracting sexytime… with a 16-year-old boy. Not cool, movie — not cool. Especially when there’s nothing the movie wants to say — some unconvincing whining about how hard it is to grow up, apparently — that couldn’t have been achieved if the kid had been 18, and double-especially once it turns out that writer-director Liz W. Garcia has constructed her tale so that there will be no negative consequences whatsoever for Bell’s abominable behavior. So not cool.

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RogerBW
RogerBW
Fri, Aug 30, 2013 10:17am

Age of consent in Connecticut is 16. (And in Canada, and in most of Europe where it’s not younger.)

PJK
PJK
reply to  RogerBW
Fri, Aug 30, 2013 10:47am

There seems to be a line on the wikipedia page you’ve linked that makes this case a bit more problematic:

It’s in the exception part:

The general age of consent in Connecticut is 16. This applies in most relationships. However, if any of the following apply, then the age of consent becomes 18:

– Where one person’s professional, legal, occupational or volunteer status gives him/her a role of supervision, power, or authority, over the other’s participation in a program or activity, and the older person is at least 20-years-old. See C.G.S. § 53a-71(a)(4).

Wouldn’t a lifeguard fall under this last exception?

RogerBW
RogerBW
reply to  PJK
Fri, Aug 30, 2013 10:54am

Insufficient data. Is a pool sufficiently directed to be a “program or activity”? I’d need to talk to a local lawyer, and I don’t have one on tap.

LaSargenta
LaSargenta
reply to  RogerBW
Sun, Sep 01, 2013 2:43pm

That’s right…always consult a lawyer before sex.

How about if you need to check the law maybe it would be better to keep one’s pants on?

RogerBW
RogerBW
reply to  LaSargenta
Sun, Sep 01, 2013 2:45pm

Even if (as I originally supposed) it’s entirely legal, the failure of anyone to consider the potential problem is still a failure of the film.

LaSargenta
LaSargenta
reply to  RogerBW
Sun, Sep 01, 2013 3:08pm

Yup.

anonymous
anonymous
reply to  RogerBW
Wed, Dec 25, 2013 11:22pm

Did anyone else notice the fact that the kid committed suicide because jason wanted to stay another week so he could fuck her? Had she never arrived jason and the other kid would be perfectly well in vermont

LaSargenta
LaSargenta
reply to  anonymous
Thu, Dec 26, 2013 2:31pm

That is not how suicide works.

byrdman
byrdman
reply to  LaSargenta
Sun, Aug 16, 2020 3:59pm

But this is a movie not real life. Anonymous is looking at motivation.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  RogerBW
Fri, Aug 30, 2013 12:17pm

Well, it doesn’t matter, because with the exception of one character, nobody but nobody seems to think there’s any problem with their relationship. But only in a “let’s sweep this under the rug and not think about it” sort of way.

RogerBW
RogerBW
reply to  MaryAnn Johanson
Fri, Aug 30, 2013 12:35pm

Yeah, that’s rather more of a problem. Just because it’s legal, that doesn’t make it a good idea. Is this better than the usual Hollywood comedy figure of an older woman chasing a younger man? Probably not, really…

Trex
Trex
Sat, Aug 31, 2013 8:30pm

Here’s a thought; maybe it doesn’t matter. Oh, the children! Good god, the moralizing of middle aged adults over the sexual activities of teens, no different from any other generation, is just so simpering and pathetic. Maybe there is no problem with this relationship as depicted in the movie. Maybe folks like you are the problem. Go and have sex. Please. Just stop wringing your hands as you tell the “children” how to behave :(