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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

Two Night Stand and #Stuck movie(s) review: let’s (not) talk about casual sex

by MaryAnn Johanson

#Stuck Two Night Stand red light

Apparently written by the same people who write the ridiculous quizzes and sex-tip listicles in Cosmo and Men’s Health
I’m “biast” (pro): nothing

I’m “biast” (con): nothing

(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)

A couple (Miles Teller [Divergent] and Analeigh Tipton [Lucy]/Joel David Moore [The Guest] and Madeline Zima) in New York/Los Angeles face the awkwardness of having their one-night stand dragged out into a second day thanks to a record-breaking snowstorm that shuts down all transit and strands her at his apartment/an epic traffic jam during the drive to pick up her vehicle that strands her in his car. Hence ensues uncomfortable conversations in which they reintroduce themselves, having forgotten each others’ names/uncomfortable conversations in which they reintroduce themselves, having forgotten each others’ names; protestations on her part that, honestly, she knows women always say this, but she really has never done anything like this before/protestations on her part that, honestly, she knows women always say this, but she really has never done anything like this before; and passive-aggressive confessions and accusations about sexual acts surreptitiously rushed through and faked/passive-aggressive confessions and accusations about sexual acts surreptitiously rushed through and faked. And if you think this is all rather unpleasant for the participants, it’s even worse for those of us forced to eavesdrop on their tedious, self-absorbed, ultimately unenlightening chatter. Frankness is a poor substitute for characters we enjoy spending time with doing stuff we might potentially care about, but please enjoy all the emotional engagement of a trip to the dentist. Apparently written by the same people who write the ridiculous quizzes and sex-tip listicles in Cosmoand Men’s Health — you know, the ones that pretend that all men and all women have precisely the same reactions toward particular physical acts and precisely the same attitudes about sex and relationships — these “celebrations” of casual sex posit is as — surprise! — just one more quirky and allegedy hilarious rom-com method of finding a long-term monogamous partner. Wait, what?


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Two Night Stand (2014)
US/Canada release date: Sep 26 2014 (VOD same day) | UK release date: Feb 13 2015 (VOD same day)

MPAA: rated R for sexual material, language and some drug use
BBFC: rated 15 (strong language, sex, sex references, drug use)

viewed on my iPad

official site | IMDb
more reviews: Movie Review Query Engine | Rotten Tomatoes
#Stuck (2014)
US/Canada release date: Oct 10 2014 (VOD same day)

MPAA: not rated

viewed on my iPad

official site | IMDb
more reviews: Movie Review Query Engine | Rotten Tomatoes

If you’re tempted to post a comment that resembles anything on the film review comment bingo card, please reconsider.

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