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since 1997 | by maryann johanson

Hammer of the Gods review

Hammer of the Gods red light

This is what happens when your Lord of the Rings cosplay gets overrun by Method stuntmen.
I’m “biast” (pro): nothing

I’m “biast” (con): nothing

(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)

This is what happens when your Lord of the Rings cosplay gets overrun by Method stuntmen. See, there’s a Viking prince, and he has to walk among some green hills to find his brother, another Viking prince, because their father the king is dying, which is a risk you run when you invade nice innocent Saxon farmers: one of them might object to be raped and pillaged. Occasionally during the walk through the green hills, a gang of refugees from Monty Python and the Holy Grail — “’Tis a scratch!” — attacks, and then there is some swordplay with lots of wet meaty sound FX. It’s kinda like a History Channel reenactment, but with more gore, more swearing, and more threats of Viking boy-buggery. “This isn’t just somebody’s head on a stick!” we are informed at one juncture. “This is a sign!” Indeed.

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Hammer of the Gods (2013)
US/Can release: Jul 5 2013 (VOD May 30 2013)
UK/Ire release: Aug 30 2013

MPAA: rated R for bloody violence, language including sexual references, and some nudity
BBFC: rated 18 (contains strong bloody violence and gory images)

viewed on my iPad

official site | IMDb
more reviews: Movie Review Query Engine | Rotten Tomatoes

If you’re tempted to post a comment that resembles anything on the film review comment bingo card, you might want to reconsider.

  • RogerBW

    “Head on a stick! Head on a stick! Getcher nice fresh spleen, walking around on the battlefield just this morning!”

  • Looks like it’s trying very hard to be Spartacus. I’d rather just watch Spartacus. If you want bloody gore and sex, there’s no substitute!

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