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we got movie sign | by maryann johanson

Hammer of the Gods review

Fri Aug 30 2013, 12:31am | 2 comments

Hammer of the Gods red light

This is what happens when your Lord of the Rings cosplay gets overrun by Method stuntmen.
I’m “biast” (pro): nothing

I’m “biast” (con): nothing

(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)

This is what happens when your Lord of the Rings cosplay gets overrun by Method stuntmen. See, there’s a Viking prince, and he has to walk among some green hills to find his brother, another Viking prince, because their father the king is dying, which is a risk you run when you invade nice innocent Saxon farmers: one of them might object to be raped and pillaged. Occasionally during the walk through the green hills, a gang of refugees from Monty Python and the Holy Grail — “’Tis a scratch!” — attacks, and then there is some swordplay with lots of wet meaty sound FX. It’s kinda like a History Channel reenactment, but with more gore, more swearing, and more threats of Viking boy-buggery. “This isn’t just somebody’s head on a stick!” we are informed at one juncture. “This is a sign!” Indeed.


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watch at home

Hammer of the Gods (2013)
US/Can release: Jul 5 2013 (VOD May 30 2013)
UK/Ire release: Aug 30 2013

MPAA: rated R for bloody violence, language including sexual references, and some nudity
BBFC: rated 18 (contains strong bloody violence and gory images)

viewed on my iPad

official site | IMDb
more reviews: Movie Review Query Engine | Rotten Tomatoes

If you’re tempted to post a comment that resembles anything on the film review comment bingo card, you might want to reconsider.

  • RogerBW

    “Head on a stick! Head on a stick! Getcher nice fresh spleen, walking around on the battlefield just this morning!”

  • Looks like it’s trying very hard to be Spartacus. I’d rather just watch Spartacus. If you want bloody gore and sex, there’s no substitute!

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