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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

gendered abuse I have received

Because I think many people do not truly appreciate the level of specifically gendered abuse women on the Internet are subjected to, simply for being women daring to say anything publicly, I’m going to start collecting mine here. Just starting from now; I do not have the energy or strength to go back and gather the older stuff. I expect this post to grow quickly. (Comments on posts may have been deleted by me. Tweets may have been deleted by their original posters.)

posted March 21, 2019:

I’ve gotten a lot of abuse for my review of Captain Marvel, including the tedious “feminazi” label, but this one is an obnoxious low:

ugly unfuckable cunt

I never understand why men think calling a woman ugly or unfuckable is a negation of her intellect. But thanks to absolute human shitstains like this asshole for proving how utterly essential feminism continues to be.

posted February 20, 2019:

There’s a lot of nasty shit in response to my total rip of Alita: Battle Angel, but this is simply the most hilarious antiwoman thing so far, and maybe ever:

Sabretruthtiger — gotta love how these guys always gotta shout about how much “truth” they are slinging — thinks a woman would be jealous of manufactured robot bodies! Or of phony CGI cuteness! As if any adult woman would want to look like an artificial waif! Poor, poor dude really does not understand a damn thing about women. Which shocks me not in the least.

posted January 7, 2019:

My slam of Aquaman has really upset the fanboys (and a few fangirls, if screen names are anything to go by, which they probably aren’t). I’ve had to close comments on that thread because it was turning into a cesspool. Lowlights:

The standard witticism of “you need to get laid”:

Aquaman abuse

Accusations of being an “angry feminist pseudo lesbian,” among other tedious negative stereotypes of women who prefer to be considered human:

Aquaman abuse

(Also: “so old”? Are men “so old” at 49? Of course not.)

I’m just “jealous” of “beautiful strong women,” says a “handsome devil” (*snort*):

Aquaman abuse

The movie’s not sexist; I am, in fact, the one who is sexist:

Aquaman abuse

I’m a feminist scold ruining everyone’s fun, oh noes:

Aquaman abuse

I’m destined to be a cat lady (presumes this is a bad thing):

Aquaman abuse

I’m a “silly bitch” and a “cunt.” (“Cultural vandal” is awesome, though. I’m keeping that one.)

Aquaman abuse

(Not featured here is the non-gendered abuse my review has received. The fun never ends!)

posted May 21, 2018:

The misogynistic insults I’m getting in response to my review of Deadpool 2 are about as original as the movie itself. This one came by email (open the image in a new tab or window for a larger, more legible version):

fuckingcuck

posted Apr 11, 2018:

A comment on my review of A Million Ways to Die in the West:

whinycunt

But remember, it’s feminists who hate men!

posted Jan 01, 2018:

Getting the new year off to an unsurprisingly shitty start (a response to spoiler alert: about the ending of Spring):

justdiealready

posted Apr 28, 2017:

My review of Avatar: The Last Airbender — an animated TV show about a serene peacemaker — prompted this spew:

kickyourass

I would suggest that this level of hatred and anger does nothing but prove my point that the show is ineffectual at telling the story it wants to tell. Clearly, it had no influence for the better on this asshole (whose IP address and email address have been noted, and may be passed to law enforcement).

The clear-eyed, logical, unemotional, totally appropriately masculine feedback to my review of Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 is beginning to flow in (I expect much more).

dusty

I’m not sure what my vagina has to do with my review, or how a supposedly less dusty vagina would have changed my reaction to the film, but I do wonder if funkmasterrex *snort* will be suggesting to all the male critics who’re less than happy with the movie that they dust off their penises.

skwirll has no love in his life, except (presumably) from small arboreal rodents:

buildings

He also sounds like someone who probably needs to be reported to the authorities.

posted Nov 22, 2016:

I’m pretty sure the real Albus Dumbledore commented on my review of Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them. It sounds just like him!

bitch

posted Jun 09, 2016:

It never ends: this email greeted me first thing this morning. As you can see, this gentleman neglected, in his sputtering rage, to even tell me which review made him so angry. Not that it matters:

wench

Imagine how small and sad your life must be to spend time composing an email like this.

posted Jun 08, 2016:

This was inevitable. I trash Warcraft and the he-man woman haters crawl under from under their rocks:

cunt

vibrator

What a couple of princes!

posted May 31, 2016:

A late response to my review of Eddie the Eagle:

manhater

Remember, if you’re tired of mediocre men being treated as heroes onscreen while extraordinary women cannot get their stories told, that means you hate men. I mean, obviously.

posted May 17, 2016:

My review of The Angry Birds Movie got linked at a bunch of virtual cesspits including Reddit, 4chan, and 8chan (which is, yes, twice as awful as 4chan), which brought out the mouth-breathers:

dumbcunt

menopausingfeline

The specificity of this guy’s fantasies! I hope it helps him get off.

Anyone know what grellish means? I don’t know in which direction I’m supposed to be hurt by this…

posted April 30, 2016:

My review of Ratchet & Clank is bringing out the little boys pissing their pants over the notion of a world not dominated by men:

butchlesbian

Remember: If you’re tired of movies about men — or even about male alien cat-things and male robots — you’re probably a butch lesbian who wants to oppress and humiliate men.

Let the humiliation begin!

posted April 13, 2016:

My post about the ending of the movie Spring continues to draw vile responses:

rapethreat

I think the username “Dicksrapeyouhard” may actually constitute an actionable threat. (The commenter’s IP address has been noted.) Though I’m much more offended at being called a neoliberal, a term that this person clearly does not know the definition of.

posted February 10, 2016:

I knew my review of Deadpool would bring out the He Man Woman Haters Club, and I have absolutely no patience to deal with them at the moment, so I’ve already closed comments on that review. But not before these charming gentlemen stopped by:

souroldlady

I don’t know what it means that the only coherent bits in this comment are the insults, but surely there is significance there:

wretchedoldlady

And because abuse is always more fun when it comes from multiple directions at once, I woke up to this on Twitter this morning:

urbad

I was wondering where my husband got to. Good to know.

posted January 21, 2016:

This might be my favorite idiotic misogynist slur yet (in response to my review of The Revenant):

getmarried

That’s sort of beautiful, in an ugly way. I presume “camurcu” believes that getting married to “a real man” would somehow get me off this wrongheaded feminist path I’m on and set me on the straight and narrow. I wonder if “camurcu” actually knows any women… or any men, for that matter.

posted December 22, 2015:

Merry Christmas to me! A misogynist elf left this little gift in reply to my review of In the Heart of the Sea:

tamponcommercial

Translation:

You… you… you… [sputtering] lady, you! You girl! You female who bleeds! If only you didn’t spend so much time being so emotionally overwhelmed by tampon commercials, you would be able to think logically — like a man who doesn’t bleed — about this movie that I am calmly and rationally disagreeing with you about.

posted October 23, 2015:

This was posted in response to my review of Goosebumps. It’s nice to know that the YA demographic is itself capable of creative writing:

thundercunt

This is so creative, in fact, that I’m still trying to divine how thundercunt is intended to be an insult. Is the author suggesting that I am being a woman in too loud and unignorable a way, when I should be quiet and demure and keep my opinion to myself, like a proper lady? I’m not sure thundercunt works as an insult at all, though. It sounds like I’m being called a female force of nature, which is a good thing, as far as I’m concerned.

posted October 02, 2015:

My post examining the ending of Spring now drives a man to concern over my sex life:

angryoldhag

Remember, guys: If you disagree with a woman, the best course of action is to disparage her sexually. It will let her know you’re a strong, virile sort of man.

posted September 06, 2015:

In response to my review of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, this charming comment:

cluckinghen

A clucking hen with fish gills sounds like a comic-book monster designed by a five-year-old.

posted August 22, 2015:

Woke up to this on Twitter this morning. Lovely start to the day:

frustratedfeminist

Dude on Twitter (now blocked, of course) thinks feminism isn’t modern, and that “frustrated feminist” is an insult. (Of course feminists are frustrated! The world stubbornly insists on remaining unfeminist.) And since when is “young” supposed to hurt a woman? Aren’t we all commanded to remain forever young or face invisibility? Make up your mind, man!

posted August 05, 2015:

I just received this charming email. No indication what prompted it:

angrylesbian

There is something very special about this cry of despair. I am confident in guessing that Jonathan is an especially privileged white man, based on his full name and place of work, as revealed by the work email he cleverly used to send this. And it’s clear from his howl that he is made very uncomfortable being asked to consider a perspective anything other than the especially-privileged-white-male one he is used to seeing in the media. And that he is completely unaware that everyone who isn’t an especially privileged white man has somehow managed to cope with this exact situation since forever.

I wonder if anyone has ever written to Roger Ebert or Mark Kermode to complain that, as straight white men, they were not relatable to anyone not standing in straight-white-man shoes.

I shouldn’t gloat, but it’s fun to see white men forced to confront the reality that theirs is not the default perspective on the world.

posted July 21, 2015:

Another fine example of gentlemanliness checks in regarding my post examining the ending of Spring:

feministdouchbag

Douching is actually incredibly bad for one’s sensitive ladyparts; douches are products designed by the capitalist patriarchy to shame women for the natural functioning of their bodies and get us to spend money we could otherwise blow on feminazi uniforms and custom underarm-hair braiding. So I’m fairly confident in saying that there’s probably no such thing as a feminist douchebag.

And lest there be any mistaking the reality that women can be misogynist, we hear from a charming and supportive lady, in response to my review of How Do You Know:

feminazi1

I presume she got her husband’s permission before logging on to the Internet, reading anything that might infect her delicate and beautiful mind, and expressing an opinion in public.

Jennie’s husband must have been feeling particularly generous, because he also permitted her to comment on my review of Minions:

pclibtard

I know she didn’t mean to do so, but I thank Jennie for pointing out just how male-dominated even cartoon characters are! Tom & Jerry. Alvin and the Chipmunks. When will it all end?

posted July 06, 2015:

In response to my post about the paltry number of female protagonists in U.K. wide releases in the first half of 2015:

dumbwhinywhore

I really don’t understand how highlighting the gender disparity onscreen makes me a whore. I really don’t understand how I’m part of the problem. (At least this guy recognizes that there is a problem.) And I really don’t understand how statistical analysis based on what’s up on the screen demonstrates that I’m dumb.

But then, I’m just an irrational girl who emotionally overreacts to everything. Unlike randy savage, who is calm and reasonable and has facts to back up his position.

posted June 12, 2015:

In response to my post examining the ending of Spring:

somekindoffeminist

Another man who thinks that feminist is an insult, and that he is wounding me by calling me one.

posted June 05, 2015:

In response to my review of Spring:

shrillbraburner

Shrill is one of those words intended to shame women into shutting up, lest a man perceive us to be unpleasant oh noes! What would we do without the good opinion of all men everywhere all the time?

Ain’t gonna happen, dude. Your discomfort is the point.

As for bra-burning: Only a man would suggest something like this. You guys have no freakin’ idea how much the damn things cost. Burn one? Might as well just light a wad of cash on fire.

(FYI, the Spring review and my post examining its ending are doing a wonderful job at the moment of freaking dudes out over the idea that a man is not automatically deserving of an amazing girlfriend just because he’s a dude. It’s almost like these guys hate me pointing out how male ego-stroking isn’t a ton of fun to watch.)

posted May 17, 2015:

Posted to comments following my Where Are the Women? ranking for 2015 films, though this was in response to a comment by reader amanohyo:

blowaman

Poor Klokinator has never has sex with a feminist, who have been scientifically proven to be better in bed.

posted May 10, 2015:

In response to my review of The Voices:

feministwhackjob

The fact that feminist is considered an insult in some quarters says it all…

posted April 13, 2015:

In response to my analysis of the ending of Spring:

whinytwat

Spoken like a man who is terrified of women with opinions.

posted April 10, 2015:

In response to my review of The Voices:

manhatingtwat

As yet, “Kieser Sozay” has been unable to explain how complaining about a certain depiction of women being murdered is equivalent to hating men. Perhaps it’s unfairly denying the liberty of men who wish to murder women?

posted April 08, 2015:

In response to my review of The Voices, from someone who apparently believes he has verbally raped me:

uptightmuch

posted April 04, 2015:

In response to my review of Get Hard:

obviousfeminist

I probably shouldn’t say this, but the crazy power I have to take toys away from angry little boys is pretty sweet. The looks of dismay on their faces when their fun suddenly disappears is beautiful.

Some general love for my work:

powerbeaver

He deleted this tweet, but not before it ended up in my in-box. (Power Beaver is now my new superhero identity.)

This one, in reply to my review of Cinderella, is, by comparison, downright old-fashioned and chivalrous:

bitteroldlady

I wonder if I would shock him if I showed a bit of ankle…

posted April 01, 2015:

In response to my review of Furious 7 (and I suspect there will be many more):

bigotedbitch

posted March 10, 2015:

In response to my review of Cinderella:

abuse3

abuse1

abuse2

abuse5

In response to my review of It Follows:

abuse4


posted in:
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