I’m “biast” (con): nothing
(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)
Though it seems the obvious explanation for its existence, 47 Meters Down is not, in fact, a cheaply assembled response to the success of last summer’s terrific Blake Lively-versus-shark thriller The Shallows. Instead, a movie that was completed and slated for a straight-to-VOD last August morphed into a theatrical release… very likely in response to the success of The Shallows. Be not fooled, though: there may be double the number of women in jeopardy in 47 but much less than half the amount of shark or suspense. On vacay in Mexico, American Lisa (Mandy Moore: Swinging with the Finkels) lets her sister, Kate (Claire Holt), talk her into cage diving to swim with sharks, as a way to show Lisa’s ex-boyfriend, who just dumped her, that she’s not “boring,” which might make him jealous, and maybe she’d even be able to win him back. These are not good motivations for such an endeavor, and indeed, luck is not with the women: the winch holding the cage just underwater snaps off its rickety boat and causes them — in the cage — to plummet to the ocean floor, where they are surrounded by sharks (apparently; we barely see them) and increasingly low on air. How o how will they be rescued? Director Johannes Roberts (Storage 24) manages to whip up a few moments of simple tension, but far more of it involves that impending emptying of scuba tanks than anything to do with toothy prehistoric ocean monsters, which we had been promised would be the big baddies. Even when a shark or two makes an appearance, we often cannot see what is happening, and that little bit of terror quickly dissipates in the murky depths.