Justice League movie review: grab ’em by the fanboy

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Justice League red light

MaryAnn’s quick take…

The cinematic equivalent of Trump and Brexit as awfulness brought upon ourselves. Incoherent and cheap-looking. There are no heroes, and everything is broken.tweet
I’m “biast” (pro): loved Wonder Woman, liked Man of Steel
I’m “biast” (con): …but not a fan of the other DCEU movies
(what is this about? see my critic’s minifesto)

These are the times that try woman’s soul. Trump. Brexit. Harvey Weinstein. Al Franken. (Really? Damn.) Global warming. Syria. Everything is awful. Everything is broken. Blake Shelton is People’s Sexiest Man alive? Christ, someone make it stop.

So it’s actually rather brilliant of Warner Bros and DC to fully embrace the everything-is-shit zeitgeist with a movie that just throws up its hands and agrees that the world and those in charge of it are garbage. Justice League is almost a meta exegesis of reality in 2017. It is the bystander on the sidewalk below the guy on the ledge of the tenth floor, shouting for him to just jump already. It is a cultural fatberg clogging up the societal flow, and we have only ourselves to blame for it: it is made up of disposable horrors we gladly used and instantly chucked. Blockbuster comic-book movies? We ate ’em up. Extended universes? We said, Bring ’em on. Combine that with the fact that movies no longer have to exhibit actual quality to make a lot of money, and we end up with DCEU excretions Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and Suicide Squad earning a combined $1.6 billion globally last year. I know it sounds like blaming the victim, but Justice League is nothing more than what we deserve. Like Trump and Brexit and Boomers scolding Millennials that if they stopped blowing all their money on avocado toast they could afford to buy houses. Everything has been building to this.

“I feel like I’m not, like, Terminator-bad or anything, but I genuinely don’t know. The script won’t tell me.”
“I feel like I’m not, like, Terminator-bad or anything, but I genuinely don’t know. The script won’t tell me.”

No shit, Justice League features a “joke” about not understanding the concept of brunch (because leisurely Sunday afternoons with friends are a ridiculous fantasy?), and several others about the casual privilege and power that come with enormous wealth. Because everything is awful.

Forget the nihilism of Batman! Although there’s plenty of that here too, like how Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck: Live by Night, The Accountant) thinks ethical behavior should be off the table if the evil alien trying to destroy Earth ain’t gonna follow any rules. Who needs heroes? Strategic weapons will do. But that’s nothing next to Justice League itself, which doesn’t accept that things like “character” and “story” are necessary building blocks of a mainstream blockbuster. The success of the DCEU — the anomaly of the engaging and resonant Wonder Woman aside — has already proven that this is the case. So.

Selfish saviors, swaggering dudebros, aliens ex machina, and their den mother. These are the defenders of justice and freedom?
tweet

So we have Victor Stone, aka Cyborg (Ray Fisher), half man, half machine, charged by the alien power source at the root of the extraterrestrial troubles here, who wonders if he is “the next alien invasion” that “people have been waiting for”… and that is the extent of his characterization. Cyborg is CGI cardboard who doesn’t even struggle with his new capabilities and whatever temptations they might bring; he merely uses them as the plot requires. Minimal as that is, it’s at least better than what we are offered for Arthur Curry, aka Aquaman (Jason Mamoa: The Bad Batch, Conan the Barbarian), an immortal or at least ancient denizen of Atlantis who appears to be living in Iceland. (How he got a name like Arthur Curry in Iceland is a mystery that is left unexplored.) He’s a swaggering dudebro with no interest whatsoever in saving the planet until it impacts his home in Atlantis, and then only when he is reassured that his Atlantean mommy does not, in fact, hate him. Barry Allen, aka The Flash (Ezra Miller: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Trainwreck) is allegedly the charming comic relief here — and Miller is at least trying — but he has no interest in helping anyone until he discovers that it makes him feel good. (There’s nothing wrong with feeling good about doing good, but when that’s your only motivation?) Diana Prince, aka Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot: Keeping Up with the Joneses, Triple 9), is still magnificent and noble and full of love… or at least we may presume that; the few times she gets to express it makes her come across like the finger-wagging mom amongst these guys. Her benevolence is swamped by the aggressive mediocrity of the manchildren around her. She becomes the cliché of the token Perfect Girl amidst all the messed-up men.

“Seriously, I don’t really know these guys. I’m not even supposed to be here today. I’m in charge of this mega restoration project at the Louvre that is a lot more interesting that this...”
“Seriously, I don’t really know these guys. I’m not even supposed to be here today. I’m in charge of this mega restoration project at the Louvre that is a lot more interesting that this…”

If there was an overarching theme to BvS, it was this: There are no heroes. Not in an intriguing way that refused to shove complicated real people into tiny boxes, but in the everything-is-awful and everyone-is-garbage way. Justice League expands on this even with Superman (Henry Cavill: The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Man of Steel), who gets reduced to little more than a plot point and a, well, alien ex machina in the final climactic showdown. The same mysterious power source, a weird ancient device called a “Mother Box” (and no, nothing Freudian there, nosiree), that animates Cyborg is wielded by Wayne and the others to resurrect dead Superman, because there’s no way that could go wrong. Except it does, and undead Superman goes wild, which means the movie gets to shove in a huge among-heroes battle. At least in Captain America: Civil War, when the Avengers lined up behind either Iron Man or Captain America, there were genuine ideological differences separating them. (With DC racing to catch up with the Marvel Cinematic Universe, comparing the two is fair game.) Yet even though BvS was predicated on a substantive disagreement between Wayne and Kent, that’s all but forgotten here, and their fight is all about wrestling the zombie Superman back into reason so he can step in and save the day in the final battle. (Which doesn’t even work: only the presence of Lois Lane manages to bring him back to his senses.)

Justice League is manufactured corporate product intended to pander to the least discriminating of tribal fans.
tweet

Oh! And while they’re all messing around with zombie Superman, they completely forget to keep an eye on that Mother Box, which they are supposed to be keeping away from the big baddie, Steppenwolf (CGI plus the unrecognizable voice of Ciaran Hinds [Silence, Bleed for This]). He already has the other two Mother Boxes that were hidden on Earth, and now he has the third one, which is bad, thanks to their inattentiveness. Steppenwolf calls himself “the End of Worlds,” and he promises that “darkness will cover the Earth,” and he is literally a cartoon villain: the CGI that animates him looks like something out of cheap videogame. So now there will have to be another big, overlong, incoherent battle as he attempts to turn a remote part of Russia into Mordor, complete with rock tentacles and an army of flying wasp-men. (They are called Parademons. That’s “Para-demons,” not “Parade-mons,” though I’d kinda love to find out what a Parade-mon is. They are “nightmare creature[s] who feed on fear,” and we never get any idea of what feeding on fear entails or what it means for the Parademons. I guess it’s intended to sound cool or scary or something. The Parademons are also embarrassingly cheap looking. Justice League is reputed to have cost $300 million to make, which is criminal when the movie looks this bad.)

“There is no effective antagonist, only Zuul.”
“There is no effective antagonist, only Zuul.”

The most human part of Justice League is when Lois (Amy Adams: Arrival, Big Eyes) and Martha Kent (Diane Lane: Trumbo, Inside Out) have a nice chat about their lives since Clark’s death. (Wait. I guess the resurrection of Superman isn’t too outlandish, him a superpowered space god and all, but how is Clark going to explain his return from the grave?) It feels like a scene snuck in from another movie. There is no life to Justice League, no soul. No one — not original director Zack Snyder (Sucker Punch, Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Ga’Hoole), nor his pinch hitter, Joss Whedon (Avengers: Age of Ultron, Much Ado About Nothing), who stepped in when Snyder was called away (and also helped write the script) — appears to have made any attempt to hide the fact that this is manufactured corporate product intended to pander to the least discriminating of fans, whose tribalism — which has been carefully fostered by said corporation — ensures they will support and defend it. Never mind pretensions of art: there is no need to bother even with basic craft when there is no question of the only “success” that matters, the one measured in dollar signs. Justice League is the cinematic equivalent of the fulfillment of Trump’s boast that he could shoot someone in the middle of Fifth Avenue and still get elected. When nothing matters and everything is broken, an accidental lampoon of villainy like Steppenwolf isn’t only inadequate to the dramatic purpose he is meant to serve, he’s also failing to keep up with reality. Oh, does someone with delusions of grandeur want to destroy us all for his own amusement? Tell us something we don’t already know.



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Jon
Jon
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 10:08pm

Seriously? The DCEU is more like Bernie Sanders than Trump.

amanohyo
amanohyo
reply to  Jon
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 2:31pm

In the sense of being older, grittier, more realistic sure, but DC heroes are typically born with their powers while Marvel heroes reluctantly grow into powers that are forced upon them by fate. Trump would probably be a sleazy used car salesman without his bequeathed power. I’d argue that the light-hearted humanism of Marvel movies skews towards Sanders too. On the other hand, the villains in the DC universe are much more sinister and memorable, and Sanders has some fantastic villains lined up to oppose him. It’s kind of a wash.

Jurgan
Jurgan
reply to  Jon
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 10:05pm

What does that even mean?

Rolando Lucero
Rolando Lucero
reply to  Jurgan
Fri, Dec 01, 2017 5:26am

Trumpspeak

DrunkenYoda
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 10:11pm

Hey. Dumb fuck. There are other things besides politics. Can we not wrap everything in the goddamn world around politics?

Dent
Dent
reply to  DrunkenYoda
Sun, Nov 19, 2017 3:24pm

Rude, you are. The current climate, it is.

DrunkenYoda
reply to  Dent
Mon, Nov 20, 2017 2:01pm

Then we need climate change.

She-freak
She-freak
reply to  DrunkenYoda
Wed, Nov 22, 2017 2:46am

Loser.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  DrunkenYoda
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:28am

I’ll pretend like you posted a serious comment.

There are other things besides politics.

Almost everything is informed and impacted by politics. If you don’t see this, you are either extraordinarily privileged, in that you are not affected by politics, or extraordinarily blinkered.

That said, almost nothing in my review discusses the politics of *Justice League.* I merely explained how this shitty movie is a symptom of the shitty world we live in now, in how this shitty movie is a narrowminded disaster of our own making.

And you proved my point, at least about the narrowmindedness. Thanks!

DrunkenYoda
reply to  MaryAnn Johanson
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 12:19am

Wow. Bet you’re a blast at parties. Nothing in your incessant prattling would want to make me want to kill myself for at least 4 minutes. If I thought everything in my life wqas informed by politics I’d be as insufferable and miserable as you so I couldn’t enjoy anything like a silly movie or anything else either.

As Buzz Lightyear once said… You have my pity. You are truly an unhappy miserable person.

Bluejay
Bluejay
reply to  DrunkenYoda
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 3:14am

Nothing in your incessant prattling would want to make me want to kill myself for at least 4 minutes.

Word salad.

I’d be as insufferable and miserable as you so I couldn’t enjoy anything like a silly movie

2015-G5/O5, 2017-G5.

As Buzz Lightyear once said… You have my pity.

Buzz Lightyear was completely misunderstanding his environment and suffering delusions of grandeur and self-importance when he said this. So you’re saying you’re in a similar state? OK, cool.

DrunkenYoda
reply to  Bluejay
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 3:18am

Jesus Christ. I can’t believe everyone’s actually defending being unlikable drips. Fair enough. Wallow if it makes you happy.

Bluejay
Bluejay
reply to  DrunkenYoda
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 3:20am

I can’t believe everyone’s actually defending being unlikable drips.

What? No, no, I’m NOT defending you. (You’re referring to yourself, right? You’re the one who barged in here and called the host a “dumb fuck” in your first comment.)

DrunkenYoda
reply to  Bluejay
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 3:34am

So I’m clear. Everything must be wrapped through the lens of politics and even a super hero movie can’t be enjoyed. That’s the thing I’m wrong about, only by thinking that way can I be happy. That’s what everyone apparently believes.

You are all nuts. Good luck with the therapy.

Bluejay
Bluejay
reply to  DrunkenYoda
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 3:40am

even a super hero movie can’t be enjoyed.

Check out her other superhero movie reviews.

You are all nuts. Good luck with the therapy.

Casual slur against folks with mental health issues, and a dismissal of mental health treatment. Your “unlikeable drip” score is going way up!

You’ve been hostile from the first comment. That “miserable and unhappy” accusation seems to be more a projection than anything else. You might benefit from some therapy, actually. Good luck!

Dr. Rocketscience
Dr. Rocketscience
reply to  DrunkenYoda
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 5:20pm

I dunno man, you’re being pretty insufferable right now, and you’re angry at a movie review for a movie you ostensibly enjoyed, which strongly suggests an inability to find happiness.

Awesome Welles
Awesome Welles
reply to  DrunkenYoda
Fri, Dec 01, 2017 12:57am

Btw, most of the guys who got banned from aicn recently are over at The Man Who Saved Movies now in case you didn’t know.

Darth_Goofington
Darth_Goofington
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 10:21pm

The cinematic equivalent of Trump and Brexit, sign me up. this dumb critic just made sure I’m all over this movie.

Dent
Dent
reply to  Darth_Goofington
Sun, Nov 19, 2017 3:26pm

Oh no, what a miscalculation on her part. Clearly this review was written exclusively to discourage British Trump fans from seeing this film.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  Darth_Goofington
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:28am

That’s one way that criticism works! You read the works of several different critics and you decide whether a movie is for you. Congrats!

MaryAnn Johanson
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 10:24pm

I believe my point about the tribalism of fans has been proven.

terrydashley
terrydashley
reply to  MaryAnn Johanson
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 11:31pm

Some of your points are honorable like the heros in the story, or well they try to be, but other points are a swing and a miss. I don’t consider myself a fan tribal but more of an avid adventurer into the ideology of Superheroes and how they bring them to the big cinema. I watched the movie and I thought the visuals were pleasing, the story line wasn’t but the characters were as pointed out in a number of other reviews. I really believe the focus point of this movie was to make people learn to love the characters. In that sense I feel they definitely hit a double.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  terrydashley
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:29am

as pointed out in a number of other reviews

“in the opinion of other critics”

Fixed that for ya.

Dr. Rocketscience
Dr. Rocketscience
reply to  MaryAnn Johanson
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 12:01am

Indeed, and it was sad and exhausting 2 year ago. Now, I can’t even with this children. Can’t you just delete them all on general principle? Maybe we don’t need a discussion board on this movie?

amanohyo
amanohyo
reply to  Dr. Rocketscience
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 12:21am

I’m only going to respond with Bingo spaces on this one to save time, but has anyone decided how we should distinguish between the old Bingo board and the new one? For now, I’ll just preface my calls with o and n for old and new.

Dent
Dent
reply to  Dr. Rocketscience
Sun, Nov 19, 2017 3:29pm

It reminds me of the Avatar the Last Airbender series review response. That was the definition of unfortunate.

Dr. Rocketscience
Dr. Rocketscience
reply to  Dent
Mon, Nov 20, 2017 1:31am

This is going about as well as expected.

Dent
Dent
reply to  Dr. Rocketscience
Mon, Nov 20, 2017 9:41am

At least they can’t say that she’s ruining it’s perfect RT score.

An actual comic book fan
An actual comic book fan
reply to  MaryAnn Johanson
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 1:39pm

You understood and appreciated Justice League like my late grandmother understood smartphones.

amanohyo
amanohyo
reply to  An actual comic book fan
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 2:14pm

Are you claiming that this movie is mindless fun, and MA is overthinking it, or that the film is full of meaningful allusions and fanservice that MA is not knowledgeable enough to appreciate? Or maybe both?

Beowulf
Beowulf
reply to  amanohyo
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 4:14pm

Mindless. Fun? Not so much.
The Wolf, man.

Bluejay
Bluejay
reply to  An actual comic book fan
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 2:52pm

And yet she liked Man of Steel, the Nolan Batman trilogy, and many (but not all) of the Marvel movies. It’s more like she can appreciate a well-made iPhone but didn’t like how the Galaxy 7 kept bursting into flames.

Dent
Dent
reply to  Bluejay
Sun, Nov 19, 2017 3:31pm

That feature was intentional I tell you! It’s to start a campfire when you’re lost in the woods!!!

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  An actual comic book fan
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:30am

I’m sure your late grandmother thought you were charming.

Dan Madison
Dan Madison
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 11:14pm

This critic is so happy with herself……worst review I’ve ever read….I just left a full theater where the film got a standing ovation…..me thinks she wrote this review.BEFORE she saw the movie..

David N-T
David N-T
reply to  Dan Madison
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 11:46pm

“This critic is so happy with herself…”

So? You seem pretty happy with yourself too.

“…worst review I’ve ever read”

Nah, man, not even close. On what basis do you disagree with the review?

“I just left a full theater where the film got a standing ovation…”

So? I would have been surprised if the reaction had been different. That there is an audience that lost all critical distance is nothing to brag about.

Dan Madison
Dan Madison
reply to  David N-T
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 11:55pm

Sure…..the entire audience has lost all critical distance……that’s certainly rational. If you can’t see the utter absurdity of bringing up Trump and Brexit in regards to a movie about people in capes then I’m at a loss. She didn’t have to like the movie, that’s her right. However she is trying WAY too hard to be clever here….

David N-T
David N-T
reply to  Dan Madison
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 2:19am

“Sure…..the entire audience has lost all critical distance……that’s certainly rational”

Why not? I certainly expect the people who are there on Premiere night to be enthusiastic fans. I witnessed the same reaction when I saw The Phantom Menace and that was a piece of shit. It’s called self-selection bias.

“If you can’t see the utter absurdity of bringing up Trump and Brexit in regards to a movie about people in capes then I’m at a loss”

Way I understood it she brought it up in the context that the film will succeed despite not being very good, just as Trump and Brexit that were both successful despite their pretty obvious limitations.

“She didn’t have to like the movie, that’s her right”

Bullshit. This fanbase is so fucking blind that it tried to ban Rotten Tomatoes because one of the DCEU’s cinematic offerings got bad reviews.

“However she is trying WAY too hard to be clever here.”

I’ll take that over your not trying hard enough to be clever.

Jurgan
Jurgan
reply to  Dan Madison
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 10:17pm

The DC movies are desperate to convince audiences they’re more serious and deep than the light-hearted Marvel movies. That makes talk about politics absolutely fair game.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  Dan Madison
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:31am

I have never been in a cinema where a film has gotten a standing ovation. And I’ve seen hundreds of film in cinemas over the past 20 years. So I’m gonna go ahead and doubt your claim in this regard.

Dan Madison
Dan Madison
Fri, Nov 17, 2017 11:21pm

Bringing up Trump is so desperate…..she also might want to look into the proper spelling of “biased”…. What a joke.

amanohyo
amanohyo
reply to  Dan Madison
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 12:22am

oN3, nB1

Lex
Lex
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 2:52am

Here’s my response to the review. Yes, thanks to Batman’s administration, I lost my doctor and my parents health insurance went up. Also, Wakanda broke ties with Latveria. That’s Batman’s fault. Pure and Simple.

Jayson Barlow
Jayson Barlow
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 4:02am

Wow lady you are an idiot. Your critiques are so nitpicky. Sounds like you’re just not a fan of superhero movies in general and shouldn’t even be talking.

David N-T
David N-T
reply to  Jayson Barlow
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 4:18am

Before opening your mouth and making a fool out yourself check out her reviews of other superhero films. And even if she weren’t a fan of superhero movies, how would it disqualify her from reviewing these films?

artofjmcmath
artofjmcmath
reply to  David N-T
Sun, Nov 19, 2017 1:03am

You must be related to her or something. I’m certain she is capable of defending herself. Let it go Stan Lee.

Bluejay
Bluejay
reply to  artofjmcmath
Sun, Nov 19, 2017 2:24am

MaryAnn can answer or ignore comments as she pleases. But this is a public forum which means anyone can chime in, and her regular readers can respond to idiot fanboys from Rotten Tomatoes if we feel like it. Think you can all gang up on a single critic without her readership saying a word about it? Think again.

Dent
Dent
reply to  Bluejay
Sun, Nov 19, 2017 3:35pm

They’re probably from /tv/ or it’s affiliates. Known creators of Bane posting. How far they have fallen.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  Jayson Barlow
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:33am

Wow lady you are an idiot.

What a charmer you are. *swoon*

Sounds like you’re just not a fan of superhero movies in general

Sounds like you haven’t bothered to find out what I think about superhero movies in general.

shouldn’t even be talking.

And there were have it. Women should just be quiet. Who gave you permission to say anything?

An actual comic book fan
An actual comic book fan
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 1:36pm

In conclusion, you didn’t get it. But you LOOOOOOOOVED Wonder Woman LOL!! People like you make me laugh. You couldn’t tell me anything about Apocalypse without the genius of Google. Stick to Citizen Kane and other “art pieces” you can actually speak to and leave nerdom to genuine fans.

amanohyo
amanohyo
reply to  An actual comic book fan
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 2:04pm

oO2, implied oN5

David N-T
David N-T
reply to  An actual comic book fan
Sun, Nov 19, 2017 2:33am

Wait, so a film intended for mass consumption requires in depth knowledge of the comic book to be appreciated? Sounds like Warner Bros messed up, then. I enjoyed many films based on books that I hadn’t read and didn’t know anything about. That’s what a good movie does.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  An actual comic book fan
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:34am

You couldn’t tell me anything about Apocalypse without the genius of Google.

You think that’s a defense of this movie? Interesting…

leave nerdom to genuine fans

As I said, tribalism…

Taylor Tobias
Taylor Tobias
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 9:58pm

Sorry, but I completely disagree with your review. Maybe I am a DC fanboy, and my wife and daughter, too, so we know and love these characters already, but I never felt that the plot was rushed, though another thirty minutes or so would be great. I was actually surprised at how full it felt at a two hour runtime. Steppenwolf, while no Braniac, and definitely no Darkseid level threat himself, is a logical choice for a first villain that requires them to team up and work together. The scenes of the League interacting were warm and heartening. The action was paced well. Bringing back Superman was wholly different than in the comics, especially after including Doomsday in BvS, but movies aren’t their source material. If they were, I could give up reading books or comics entirely, but that’s what’s enjoyable about them-usually. Something like the bloated Hobbit adaptation or
Zack Snyder’s almost scene for scene version of Watchmen, ruined by the ending, is always a let down. But Justice League? It was fun, enjoyable from start to finish, and for the first time in my life, I got to see my favorite heroes band together to save the world in a medium other than animation or comics. I’m sure Marvel fans felt much the same seeing the Avengers together for the first time, but for me and my family, all of us fans of the MCU, Guardians especially, there’s no comparison. The thing about being a reviewer is that your job is to give your opinion, and the sad thing is that so many will take that and let it keep them from enjoying movies that many other people felt differently about. It’s easy to tear down, but much harder to create. I read and watch a wide range of material, but I’m never going to let a glowing review of something I didn’t care for or a scathing review of something I thoroughly enjoyed change my mine, because at the end of the day, people like different things. What a boring place the world would be otherwise.

amanohyo
amanohyo
reply to  Taylor Tobias
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 10:51pm

I’m happy that you and your family liked it. Yours seems to be the consensus view of most DC fans – a warm fuzzy feeling when finally seeing well-portrayed classic characters team up, but a passable plot and villain. Thanks for staying cool-headed and letting us know what you enjoyed without stooping to ad hominem.

Taylor Tobias
Taylor Tobias
reply to  amanohyo
Sat, Nov 18, 2017 10:56pm

Absolutely. When people start yelling, no one listens. I’ve got no problem with sharing opinions, it’s bludgeoning with opinions that’s inconducive to reasonable conversation.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  Taylor Tobias
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:35am

Sorry, but I completely disagree with your review.

There’s no need to apologize. It’s okay to disagree with me… in a civilized manner, as you’ve done.

I’m genuinely glad you enjoyed the movie.

Dr. Rocketscience
Dr. Rocketscience
reply to  Taylor Tobias
Sat, Nov 25, 2017 5:47pm

A few things…
Superman’s return: in the comic story arc, his resurrection happens almost entirely off page, and involves no other characters. Using the motherbox is a much better solution, insofar as it requires action from the other major characters in the story. (Note to MAJ: Clark tells everyone he was in “Tibet” or something for a year and a half mourning Superman’s death. IOW, they don’t explain it.)
Watchman ending: this is an argument I can’t seem to ignore. ;-) But, one of the movie’s best bits of adaptation is ditching the giant psychic space octopus, and tying the climax of the plot to the story of Dr. Manhattan’s waning humanity. As a side note, Watchman pedantry is weird. I often hear complaints about the ending coupled with complaints about the flamethrower/ejaculation shot, an image that literally appears in the original comic.
I really wish you’d stopped before everything from “The thing about being a reviewer…” Film critics don’t “keep them[selves] from enjoying movies”. Ask any film critic and they’ll tell you that they love movies. But they watch more movies than nearly anyone else. That gives them a different perspective. It’s also a massive fallacy. Think of any movie you love, your family loves, all your friends love. Now go out on the internet. I guarantee you will find swaths of non-film reviewers that absolutely loath that movie. (Heck, just find any internet slap-fight between DC- and Marvel-fanbois.)
Other fallacies: film critics create film criticism. And art criticism is an essential element to art. If you really, truly never let any reviewer affect your opinions, you would never have found your way to a film review site. (Unless you’re just looking for someone to stroke your confirmation ego, but that’s your bag.)

Rolando Lucero
Rolando Lucero
reply to  Dr. Rocketscience
Fri, Dec 01, 2017 5:38am

i actually liked the space octopus. How many Dr. Manhattan were created by accident by the explosion?

Dr. Rocketscience
Dr. Rocketscience
reply to  Rolando Lucero
Fri, Dec 01, 2017 6:40am
Jim Mann
Jim Mann
Mon, Nov 20, 2017 2:20pm

I liked it a bit more than you did, though I thought it was a letdown after Wonder Woman, which was so good. But it was better than the Batman v. Superman (yes, a very low bar). The biggest problem to me was the villain, who was lame. If they wanted to bring in the “Fourth World” of the comics, why pick one of the really minor characters from that universe. (For the folks who weren’t reading comics in the 1970s: the Fourth World was what Jack Kirby added to the DC universe when he jumped to DC from Marvel. It featured the godlike character Darkseid, and really had a major impact in changing the DC universe.)

I also can’t see where they spent all the money. As you noted, many of the effects really don’t look that good.

One minor note: the bit about brunch was playing with the idea that Barry is seeing everything in super speed and thus has a very short attention span. He’s therefore really impatient with having to stand in line for brunch.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  Jim Mann
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:36am

Jokes can play on multiple levels. As I know you’re aware. :-)

MarkyD
Mon, Nov 20, 2017 5:15pm

Superman died? I don’t remember that. But I admit to blocking out all these horrible movies after Ive seen them.

Giovanni Cifaretto
Giovanni Cifaretto
Tue, Nov 21, 2017 10:30am

Maybe next time you can review a movie without incorporating politics.

Bluejay
Bluejay
reply to  Giovanni Cifaretto
Tue, Nov 21, 2017 12:40pm

Maybe next time, if you don’t like reviews that incorporate politics, you can go read something else. The Internet is a big place.

Giovanni Cifaretto
Giovanni Cifaretto
reply to  Bluejay
Wed, Nov 22, 2017 12:17pm

Good point. I’ll avoid any future reviews from MaryAnn Johanson.

Beowulf
Beowulf
reply to  Giovanni Cifaretto
Wed, Nov 22, 2017 2:47pm

And the world gives thanks!
The Wolf, man.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  Giovanni Cifaretto
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:36am

And that’s how this whole thing works! Congrats on figuring that out.

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  Giovanni Cifaretto
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:36am

Why on earth would I do that?

Dr. Rocketscience
Dr. Rocketscience
Wed, Nov 22, 2017 3:42pm

All right, here goes.

*takes a deep breath*

I kinda liked it.

*runs for cover*

It’s definitely got a slapped together feel, the result of a major shift when Snyder left and Whedon took over (and was clearly given basically free, reign as long as he mostly used Snyder’s footage). In terms of plot structure, tone, and even running time, it plays out very much a DCAU (Animated Universe) film. Those films are highly regarded in their own right, but are (deservedly) relegated to a direct-to-video audience, so I appreciate that the comparison doesn’t reflect all that well on the live action films.

I give it a B, graded on the curve based on my DC fanboy nature, my appreciattion of Snyder’s visual aesthetic, and my absolute love of the cast.

Can we still be (super)friends?

MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  Dr. Rocketscience
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 8:37am

You know we can. No need to even ask.

Dr. Rocketscience
Dr. Rocketscience
reply to  MaryAnn Johanson
Fri, Nov 24, 2017 9:57pm

:D

MaCready
MaCready
Fri, Jan 19, 2018 5:15am

Did they try to make an awful movie? Was that their aim? If so, they succeeded.

cinderkeys
cinderkeys
Sat, Feb 24, 2018 6:36am

Wow, I had no idea this flick had so many defenders. I don’t remember any reviewers liking it—this one was far from alone.

Anyway! I finally saw it. I liked it better than you did, which is to say that I’d rate it as an okay popcorn flick given low expectations and dollar-house prices. Aqua Man was fun. Some little moments were fun. The brunch thing … I got the impression that they were trying to hint at Barry Allen being on the spectrum and not doing a very good job.

Interestingly, the stuff that did bug me didn’t make it into your review:

* Every scene with Amy Adams. I’ve always had a hard time buying her as tough-as-nails Lois Lane, and here we’re treated to her explaining why she only does fluff pieces now because she’s sad. Showing the vulnerabilities of tough characters is fine, but it’s annoying when she never seemed all that tough to begin with.

* The confrontation between Bruce and Diana. I get why the writers felt the need to justify why nobody has heard of Wonder Woman even though she’s been around since World War I. I wish they’d done it without having Bruce Wayne batsplain Diana’s motives, and I definitely could’ve done without the bit where she says he’s right.

cinderkeys
cinderkeys
reply to  cinderkeys
Sat, Feb 24, 2018 8:13pm

Oh, and all of Wonder Woman’s butt shots. I’m not going to object strenuously to the objectification given that it was equally distributed—plenty of eye candy to go around for those of us who like men—but that miniskirt was a little much.

MaryAnn Johanson
MaryAnn Johanson
reply to  cinderkeys
Tue, Feb 27, 2018 5:32pm

You can object strenuously to how Diana is objectified in this film. The men may be attractive and pleasant to look at, but they are not leered at by the camera the way that she is.